A Primer on Zen Boozism Lesson 02

primenr02 
Dear Brothers and Sisters in Zen Boozeism,
It’s that time again. That time is time for another lesson in the “Primer on Zen Boozism” series. Last time, I spoke to you about the basic underpinning ideas of Zen Boozism and gave an example of a sacred Booze Wizard ritual. In this lesson, we’re going to take a step backwards and look at a practice that is not unique to Zen Boozeism but is universal to every from of mysticism currently available.
I’m talking about the practice of meditation. Meditation is simply the practice of not thinking. Why would someone want to not think? Well, if you preformed the Sacred Sample from the last lesson correctly, you should have noticed that your mind is an echo chamber of idiocy.
How could I possibly know this about you? The answer is simple. Don’t take it personally. Just about everyone’s mind is a useless collection of bad memories, fears, and self-generated lies. That’s not all that’s in your mind, but it does make up the bulk of things doesn’t it?
How does meditation help improve this situation?
Well, Thanks for asking! Now we can get to the meat of this lesson. Meditation helps the booze wizard in many ways:
  • It slows the shit storm of shit thoughts.
  • Regular practice improves one’s intuition, which is useful when card playing.
  • It also readies the mind and by extension, the booze wizard, for all the exciting things that happen to a person when they become a wizard or any kind.
Without the practice of meditation, there is no Booze Wizardry. It’s that simple. It is every bit as important as booze.
You might be familiar with the image of tiny people in funny robes sitting funny and calling that meditation. It’s true that this is a valid way to meditate, but it’s not the only way.  Why a person can meditate while doing just about anything:
  • Sitting funny
  • Sitting serious
  • Standing normal
  • Walking
  • Playing music
  • Any kind of art
  • Staring out the window
  • Looking in a window
So you see, it’s not just one thing. There are all kinds of ways to do the meditating. Your task this lesson is to explore several ways of meditating and see which ones you like the best.
No one can tell another person how they should meditate, only how they themselves practice it. A booze wizard must learn to trust themselves and not rely on any one source of mystical knowledge, that’s what the Masons do. Those kids are a little wacky. We all know that.
Now, back to the issue at had. This time we learned that meditation is an indispensable part of the Zen Boozism equation and that if you want to be a booze wizard, you should probably get on to learning how to do it. You can do that by doing some experimentatin’ and researchin’.
This lesson may seem short, but don’t be deceived by its brevity. Meditation is like a fine scotch whiskey on cold winter’s eve. No one knows much about how to explain why it’s so good, but everyone with taste buds knows it is. You’ll be busy enough soon as you get around to giving it a try.
Yours in Booze Wizardry,
B.F. Smith
Alchemist of the Blues.

B. F. Smith (photo unavailable), also known as “The Alchemist of the Blues”, is a time traveling Bluesman/Alchemist and founder of “Zen Boozism- The Path of the Booze Wizard.” When he’s not investigating chrno-anomalies or having the blues, he runs a mail order mystery school which mails out mysteries to those enrolled.
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